The Messages of Money

Over my tenure, I have witnessed three primary reasons people struggle with money: culture, childhood conditioning, and psychological make-up. Some people don’t like talking about money because money has become a measure of societal worth or identity. We are bombarded with cultural messages reinforcing an idea that our worth is even linked to certain products… thus if we can afford the latest plasma TV or i-pad, or Smart Phone, others (and myself) will think we are doing well (creating self-image). The second reason people may struggle with money issues could stem from religious messages about money learned during childhood. A son hears his father say “rich people can’t get into heaven” or “money is evil.”   Consider the recent negative stigma and social attack being launched onto affluent people today and the resulting attitudes. Many people don’t realize the degree emotional money scripts have on them or how it continues to influence their career decisions, financial decisions, and lifestyle behavior. The third reason people may struggle with money could be the negative psychological relationship they have with it. This relationship can take many shapes. It can be the need to have more and more stemmed from the fear “without money you are nothing.” This places a desperate need to accumulate, acquire, and spend to satisfy my ego. Or “My parents never had it so I’ll never have it…”  leading to an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Consider spenders and savers. A sixty year old who earns $350,000/year, yet has a net worth of $179,000.  Or another who is a multi-millionaire and complains about replacing his fourteen year old car because he can’t stand the idea of a loan nor using the cash. Both have unhealthy relationships with money. The first feels no guilt or lack of responsibility from over-spending, while the other experiences anguish from spending any money at all. True wealth can really be described as one who leads a mentally, spiritually, and financially healthy life. Being financially healthy is simply a factor of making healthy financial decisions; and less a factor of how much is in one’s bank account. Many struggle with personal financial challenges. Unlocking those underlying money messages can help to bring change to behaviors, which hold us back.

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