Dealing with the death of a spouse can be emotionally devastating and mentally taxing. “I couldn’t remember where I put the keys or my Social Security number and became paralyzed making decisions. I thought I was losing my mind.” It takes time for a new widow to work through the feelings of shock, numbness and being overwhelmed before beginning the journey back to the world. Grief is personal and some progress through this stage quicker than others. The widow who lost her husband to a long-term illness may experience different emotions than one who suddenly lost her husband a few days before Christmas. Notwithstanding, big irrevocable decisions should not be made during this time. However, the widow does have to tend to the more immediate decisions surrounding making sure the bills are paid. There is a longer, more complete list of tasks to be addressed, in a timely manner, but progress is mostly gradual and demands patience (with ourselves and from others). At some point in the healing process, the widow will be ready to address the legal, financial, estate and investment situations requiring attention. Typically this necessitates comprehensive financial planning. Research points out the five common mistakes new widows make: rushing too fast to make big financial decisions, avoiding reality, falling prey to advisors who seek to take advantage, making housing decisions too soon, and becoming a purse for others. Knowing an experienced and trusted CFP® during a time like this can make a lot of difference to a new widow in the early stage. Far too many widows face tax deadlines and appointments with attorneys alone, which apart from being an emotionally-triggering event, can end up costing thousands more than it should. Not knowing all that needs to be done and in what order at the time of a death can leave most feeling lost. I have written an article on the immediate steps that need to be taken from time of passing through the first three months. Please feel free to request a copy for you or a friend.
